Madison's Smile

When I was a girl, I would get so frustrated that adults never seemed to understand what it was like to be a kid. I wondered how come, if adults had been children also at one time, did they not remember how it feels to be a child? I promised myself that when I had children I would be different that I would remember how hard it was to be a kid and treat my own kids the way I would want to have been treated.

Well what happened??? Please someone tell me where I left my memory because I have lost it somewhere along the way...

I find myself with the desire to see things from Madison's perspective but I can't fathom dropping my parenting standards in order for her to always get what she wants. As a (step)mother of course you want your child to have what they wish for and to be happy, but somewhere along the line from being a child yourself to becoming an adult you realise just how unrealistic your childhood wishes were! You realise that for your child to be truly happy you have to sacrifice their immediate happiness for long term happiness. You can't just give your child whatever they want because after all it will never truly satisfy their desire for more and more and more, and ultimately they will end up unhappy when they realise life isn't going to always be served to you on a silver platter. My desire is for Madison to grow up to be self sufficient, confident and satisfied with her life. I would be terribly sad if she grew up to be the opposite, because the opposite of those things is unhappiness.

I realised again on Friday (very firm believer that you can fall in love with your kids over and over every day!), when I picked Madison up from school, as she approached the car and our eyes met, she gave me the warmest smile and my heart melted. As hard as being a step mum is (loving someone else's child who will never truly appreciate the sacrifices you make for them and still only be second best in their eyes) its moments like that that really reaffirm that you are doing the right thing, you are heading in the right direction, that she loves me even if she doesn't (if that makes sense - to any stepmum it would).

I didn't have to give her anything material or do anything for her to get that smile. It was a genuine "happy to see you" smile. It was worth the investment.